My own Personal Patrik: FAQ

Here, you'll find any answers to any related questions you may have about problems you may experience with your own Personal Patrik.

Q. I successfully cut out my Personal Patrik but then the image disappeared. What happened?

A. The phosphor inside your monitor that makes yours pixels glow wasn't burnt in properly. The next time you plan to cut out a Personal Patrik, leave your monitor on for at least a month. Your Personal Patrik should be displayed at the exact same place on your monitor continuously during that month. Disable any screensavers you may have running or this won't work. Use an older monitor with green or amber displays. The phosphor in those monitors tend to burn in faster then on modern-day color monitors.

Q. What tools should I use to cut out My own Personal Patrik?

A. You could use a very sharp knife or a set of powerful scissors. Personally, we would recommend an industrial diamond or special glass cutters.

Q. I ruined a perfectly good monitor for nothing. What now?

A. You have only yourself to blame. You should have hired an expert. In any case, we advise you buy a new monitor and try again.

Q. Why not just print it out on paper and cut it out from there?

A. Because we make quality products. Paper simply isn't as durable as glass covered phosphor. And paper doesn't glow in the night either.

Q. Does My own Personal Patrik come in different sizes?

A. Yes, just change the resolution of your monitor before cutting it out. Lower monitor resolutions will tend to give you a larger Personal Patrik while high resolutions will make it smaller.

Q. Can I order a pre-cut Personal Patrik?

A. No

Q. Does the Personal Patrik come in different colors?

A. Adjust the color settings of your monitor.

Q. Does the Personal Patrik come with any accessories like dress-up clothing?

A. Our marketing department is working right this moment on a whole range of accessories for your own Personal Patrik.

Q. Does The Personal Patrik come with different faces.

A. No, it wouldn't be a Patrik any more would it?

Q. Is it safe to place My own Personal Patrik in a microwave oven?

A. Now why on earth would you want do something as silly as that?

Q. Is this for real?

A. Only if you are foolish enough to actually want a Personal Patrik so bad that you would mess up perfectly good working monitor in the process.

Q. I still have one more question...

A. If you still feel that your questions about My own Personal Patrik have been left unanswered, please feel free to contact us.

The fine print you never read because it's too small:

Cutting out "My own Personal Patrik" is done at your own risk. Only you and you alone will be responsible for eventual damage, loss or any other negative outcome of the situation or situations that may follow from any of your actions proceeding, during, and/or after you have attempted cutting out "My own Personal Patrik", be it successful or not. We also would want to warn you against reading extremely long disclaimer sentences as the chance of confusion may arise be it that you may not understand the message, be disinformed or mislead into believing something else that you thought you read but wasn't so or simply that you gave up after reading the first twenty words because the letters are too small and make you feel dizzy. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Don't worry, you'll be just fine.